Resounding Message: Be Happy or GTFO


Change is coming in the state of Oregon, and it’s not just the season. And it’s not cold, hard change either, except for the weather here. I swear, one moment it’s a blissful breezy day, the next it’s hailing down nickels like Jim Cramer just told the world that memes are the next big thingTwhump thwump thwap thwump. My convertible and I don’t appreciate it. THIS IS SPRING.


I say that change is coming not because Stephen Kruiser threatened to take his pants off in front of a group of banquet attendees, which would definitely irreparably change the fragile psyches of all involved, nor because a Republican Party event was actually a genuinely fun time to be had, but because of the messaging that came from that dapper auction banquet and the dapper FreedomWorks summit held before it.

It was a tall drink of water that quenched my thirst for truth and sanity. It’s seriously a big deal to me.

I’d like to commend everyone in the Marion County Republican Party and at FreedomWorks for hosting these events that focused less on five hundred speakers telling us why everything is the worst it’s ever been, and instead focused more on things that are shockingly positive, engaging, and not-depressing. If you can even imagine. We had action items.

Now I know, when trying to do “action items”, we sometimes like to fall into the doomed pit of talking about how we need to focus on messaging… while presenting no actual message. “Don’t you see, guys? Messaging is the message. We put a message in your message so you can message while you message.”

I never thought of it that way, you’re so right.

It’s like that guy from Ancient Aliens. He has one answer for everything. And his hair is a bird, so… you know, gtfo. Just because we’re saying the word “messaging” a lot doesn’t mean we’re actually doing it. I can say the word “victory” a lot and I’m still crying into a sad bowl of grated Mexican cheese and shame on election night.

The great thing that happened at this meeting, though (and I don’t even want to call them meetings. They were bashes. They were two subsequent bashes) is that we knocked the message out of the park. So much so, that I’m not even afraid of all the competition reading this and saying “hey, we should steal that, and we’ll turn it against them.”

The message is simple: be authentic, be honest, and be happy.

In fact, I encourage our liberal competitors to steal our strategy. Please. Really. Run with it. I won’t even stop you.

A lot of people have had really negative experiences revolving around their political beliefs, but I personally have had several positive experiences telling people that I am a Republican. I tried to think about what made those experiences different than the experiences when people want to claw each other’s eyes out, and I realized that (although I was definitely nervous), I was upfront, I was honest, I was unashamed, and I was genuinely happy to be serving this country through the Republican Party.

People were excited for me.

So if anything is to be gleaned from these two events, I think the best point is that we need to be unashamed of what we’re trying to do in this country, and show everyone that we’re chuffed as nuts to be doing it. Being an active Republican isn’t always fun, but it can be rewarding as all get-out and we’re starting to really make a positive impact in our communities. Freedom is pretty damn cool, and I hope we can start sharing that with the community at large. Thanks, FreedomWorks and Marion Co. Republicans, for a killer Saturday. It was a moving event.

Plus, Kruiser talked about his nipples a lot. Are you not entertained?


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